Is it just me or....

Or does everyone cry at those stupid "Let It Out" Kleenex commercials? I don't even know what they are talking about, and yet I cry like a baby. And honestly, I prefer Puffs. When my nose is running, I like it to be soft and soothing, not all sandpapery, like it is now. And Why is it like this? Because I only had Kleenex in the house and I caught a cold.

Cry Me a River

With the entertainment industry in turmoil with the Writer's Strike, and the tabloids getting their dollar's worth with the "B" word, I've decided to lay low until the writer's strike is over. I have no snide or rude comments to make about Nicole Richie's new baby, in fact, I think it's a beautiful thing. Then on Tuesday, I went into a kind of zombie shock that I must get off my chest.

The headlines on Yahoo read "Heath Ledger, 28, found dead." This had to be a mistake. Check the calendar, no it's not April 1st, what the FUCK is going on here? What upset me the most, well second most, the first being the fact is that Heath Ledger was so incredibly talented, you just knew he was one of the ones that would achieve icon status, was that it didn't take the tabloids 10 minutes to start crying "Suicide" and "Intentional Overdose". No, they didn't use the words intentional, but they did allude to it, painting a tableau of strewn drugs and his naked body at the foot of the bed. Did he overdose? Probably. He was taking a myriad of prescription drugs, all LEGALLY prescribed to him, however, all drugs have a potential lethal combination. They mentioned Ambien, which if you read this blog normally, you will see that I was prescibed Ambien in the middle of December for my insomnia. I stopped taking it, though, because I was doing some pretty weird shit while under the influence of it. Thankfully, I never took other drugs with it, but I could see how someone might. I was having full on conversations with people that I had no recollection of, making phone calls at 2 in the morning to people, taking my dog out in the middle of the night (Couldn't figure out why she looked at me with fear and loathing every morning, the only reason I knew about the 3 am dog walking was because a neighbor and friend saw me...apparently she flagged me down, I spoke to her for about 20 minutes and started walking toward the wrong front door) and apparently I even drove my car to the store to get soda. That's just the stuff witnessed by others. God knows what I was doing in the privacy of my own home. Although my dog absolutely does not want me to brush her anymore. That worries me.

The point of my story is, that there is a tragically logical explanation for Heath's demise. I am so utterly shattered by this event, and I can't even imagine the pain that Michelle must be feeling. My thoughts and prayers go out to her, her family, his family, and most of all their daughter Matilda. The way the news organization handled the whole thing was eerily reminiscent of the demise of Kurt Cobain. When People Magazine published a picture of Kurt's body laying on the floor with the gun still near his body, I could have screamed. I whipped off a scathing, vituperative letter to People because someday Frances might see that picture. Now in shades of sensationalism, showing Heath's body being rolled out in a bodybag, come on people show some decorum. What happens one day when Matilda sees that picture? The lack of shame is overwhelming. Anything for a buck, huh?

Rest in Peace, Heath. You were too good for this world.

PS - And if you want to see him at his finest, take a look at "Candy", a little known flick he did a couple of years ago with Abbie Cornish. You will begin to get a glimpse of what our generation has just lost.

Yummy

Does anyone realize how hot Jed Rees is? Does anybody really care? I LOVE THIS GUY! He's an accomplished actor of both stage and screen, has mad piano playing skills, and everyone just thinks hes the funny 'tard' in The Ringer. He's alot more than that, and you ought to check out some of his other work.

Did I mention that he's hot, too?

Coal in the stocking for me cause i've been naughty!

For the innumerable people that have come to depend on my caustic point of view, my humble apologies. My life unravelled around my ankles like that old 70's commercial where the sweet as pie , cherubic daughter points at her mother in front of all her friends and proclaims "Mommy, you have saggy ankles!" Frankly had that been my offspring, she would immediately enjoy the fruits and labors of borading school.

The point is, I have slacked, shamelessly. No excuse for it, other than my computer blowing up and it taking two weeks to finally decide on a new model worthy of my technological savvy.

But I'm back...and very opinionated. I am also in the throes of an Ambien smackdown, so my wit is taking a backseat since I have to concentrate awfully hard to type coherently.

Suffice to say, there are many topics to speak of, and until the ambien takes over, I shall duly rant along...come with, wont you?

Let's start with our old standby, America's Next top Model. Girl, I got only one word...WTF! I have never been so disappointed in a decision by a judge since they let Jade stay as long as she did. Saleisha..good luck. And thank your lucky stars, Of the two Chantal had it all day. I'm gonna be mulling this one over for months. THank God Idol starts soon so I have a distraction,

Amazing Race - our little Goths are hanging in there. You just gotta admire their spunk. Go Kynt! Go Vyxen!

Project Runway - Thank the Gods Fashion is BACK!

I live for Wednesdays. Not only is it traditionally "hump" day, when the work week is over halfway done, but because my mind gets a big dopamine rush and it's like a party in my head because of the TV. And when there is a nice overlap, well all the more for ME! I was content with my weekly fix of America's Next Top Model, but last night, my entertainment gene went into overdrive when the season premiere of Project Runway rolled across my screen. Oh the rapture. I love Heidi Klum - she's beautiful, she's intelligent, and she's married to Seal. Tim Gunn makes me wish I was a hot gay man living in New York City because he is just REEKING of fabulosity. Previous P.R. seasons have given me loads of designers to love - Daniel Franco, whose latest line is just tremendous. Plus he's hot. Santino Rice, who I think is just fun to watch...I like his perspective. And then there's Jeffrey..last year's winner. What can I say..I wanted every single piece of clothing that came down the runway at the final fashion show. Everything. He's too unbelievable for words, and when I hit hit rich I'm hiring him to be my personal stylist. But enough about dwelling in the past - let's hit the streets running with our new designers:

I must say that this season above all others impressed me with the first challenge. Granted they didn't exactly have to make garments out of fruit, or what they had on, but you can still screw things up really well, even with $50,000 of fabrics provided by Mood. Some early standouts (at least in my book):

Chris - He's a big guy with a big vision. The poor thing huffed and puffed his way across Bryant Park to get to the fabric tents, which looked like a war zone, but he managed to get some of the most flattering and beautiful fabrics anyway. His dress was elegant, chic, beautiful color contrast. I like this guy.

Ricky - Okay so he's a lingerie designer. I think he did play it a bit safe with the Baby Doll silhouette, but it was stunning. The fabrics were amazing, and the dress was well put together. I base things on whether or not I would buy it. I'd buy it in every color.

Elisa - Okay so she's a nut job that doesn't know when to say when. But if you look at the dress she designed without looking at the trainwreck that was the train (haha), it was a gorgeous and elegant dress. I loved the silhouette, the color, and the construction. She's just gotta learn that the mermaid look is out.

Christian - Okay I might be the only one that says, "I don't get it", but I don't get it. I hated the skirt, the top was okay, and the colors weren't my first choice for anything I would own. But the little guy has spunk. Plus I think he's going to wow in the future. Something tells me he's a scary contender.

Rami - He won the first challenge, which I knew he was going to do. The guy has an amazing boutique in LA. His dress was a little old and tired in my opinion (I mean come on that Rosette on the shoulder..I was kind of hoping I would never see another one after Angela in Season 3), but he chose a gorgeous color, and a sumptuous fabric.

Kit - She's my rocker gal. I love her. I don't care what she does, I love her. Her dress was funky, and fresh, and a contrast. She designs for the hipsters of the day. I could see that 12 hour dress on a runway at an A List event. I hope she continues to wow.

Kevin - I don't like him. I liked his outfit, but I don't like him. Why do you find a need to define your hetero status within 5 minutes. Frankly, that's a little gay..lol. Nobody cares if you like men or women, they care if you are a good designer. Stop being a homophobe and just make clothes.

Victorya - She's not memorable enough for me. Her dress was a been there, done that. And the arm restraints..totally impractical. Even if Michael Kors is right, which he is..he's always right, and he is a GOD as far as I'm concerned, women will bleed for fashion, but I still want to be able to raise my arm while I'm bleeding.

Jillian - She's got talent, of that I have no doubt. I would have bought the dress she made. It remains to be seen whether she has the personality to make it. I think she does, previews showed her being a bit bitchy. You go girl!

Carmen, Jack, Marion, Sweet P and Steven - all filler. I can't see one of them walking away with the prize.

But wait..what about Simone? Oh yeah Simone. Auf Weidersein. You suck.

Homage to the best new comedy on TV - Please let it live!

/rant on

It is a sad tragic fact of life that they just don't make 'em like they used to. Whether it's that $100 blouse you bought at Macy's that unravels at the first cleaning, to the New Improved Taco Flavored Doritos (what was wrong with the old flavor I ask you!), it just seems like things are a weak impersonation of what I now refer to as the Glory Years. All in the Family, Three's Company, MASH, Soap, I could go on. These are the classic sitcoms of a bygone era, and era where you had to rush in to catch your favorite show because there was no TiVo, and chances are if you were a kid like me, you had to wash up from being outside playing. Imagine that, outside playing...what was I thinking.

I've spent the last 17 years or so watching many sitcoms, because who doesn't like to laugh? I would like someone to explain a couple of things to me-#1-WHAT THE HELL WAS SO FUNNY ABOUT SEINFELD?!?! Honestly people, stop being sheep, don't jump on the Jerry Train, it was NOT a funny show. The best thing going for the show was Michael Richards (pre meltdown) and frankly, I liked him better on Fridays (anyone remember that little gem?) #2-Actually there is no #2, I just needed to get that Seinfeld rant off my chest.

Now separating the wheat from the chaff was pretty easy through the 90s. There was Friends, Cheers, Frasier, all of them good sitcoms, good for some laughs. But let's face it, it's been a while since there was something I could sink my teeth into.

Last year started the teeth sinking with the show How I Met Your Mother. A very funny show with some of the most relatable characters. The cast is stellar, I mean come on Neil Patrick Harris is an amazing actor that can pull off Barney better than if there was a real guy named Barney that acted that way. Look past Doogie Howser (which was a great show if you were a tween when it came out), think Clara's Heart. Neil is beyond marvelous. (Mental note...relay my attempt to set Neil up with a girl at Boogie's party at Les Deux). The entire cast is stand out and the writing is smart and hilarious. So Monday is looking up.

Then, like a golden halo of angelic light and visage...it came. It came this season in the coveted 8:30 spot behind How I Met Your Mother. Yes friends, I am talking about Big Bang Theory. I don't know how a show can get funnier...ever....I mean ever. Everything about it is amazing..the writing is just too funny, and the cast chemistry (HAHA - get it-chemistry - and they are physicists..god Im good) is phenomenal. But face it, let's give credit where credit is due. Jim Parsons is HYSTERICAL. I mean beyond hysterical. A testament to the guys enormous talent is that he embraces Sheldon and takes what is already funny and makes it fall down laughing. All intellectually. He's cute as a button too. Give props to Johnny Galecki for accepting the role of Sheldon's straight man cause Galecki is WAY WAY more talented than anyone even has a clue. His own moments are off the hook in their own right. I'm going to build a shrine to Chuck Lorre because the guy is a genius. Not only do I get a show that makes me laugh so hard I actually rewind the scene to live it again, but then..just when I think the merriment is over...I get one of his awesome vanity cards that makes me laugh my ass off again. (Well most of the time...his Veteran's Day vanity card was simply stated and well put..United We Stand)

Then it's time to catch up on all the shows I've missed and Monday was a good day. No, No I don't stick around for Two and a Half Men...Although I love Charlie Sheen. For a guy that got his big break in heavy dramas, he's actually one of the best comedic actors around. No, I just am sick of those comedies with smart ass fat kids. They aren't cute, they are annoying.

/rant off

ANTM - And how to maintain a positive attitude even though you aren't as hot as these girls

Ahh America's Next Top model. It's like heroin. You don't necessarily want to admit you have a problem, but the idea of not having it in your life is abhorrent. Cycle 9 has been pretty tame in comparison to some of the other seasons. On Reality remix, Ebony even said that there wasn't alot of drama in the house. The key players are:

Bianca: She is definitely the self-proclaimed diva of the house. I hated her on sight. She was bitch to the Nth degree. At least she didn't refer to herself in the 3rd person like that nutjob, Jade. When they had to basically shave her head because of the damage she had done to her head, I was cheering. And then something miraculous happened...she got real. She still has her moments, but they aren't nearly as venomous as they used to be. That, and girl looks FIERCE with that close cut shave job. She got highly beautiful.

Heather: This is an interesting gal. She suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, which can make a person socially awkward, but she seems to b dealing with it well (although tune in next week, apparently she has a meltdown). The thing about Heather is...she's freaking GORGEOUS. She's a stunner who takes direction, delivers photo after photo, and even her awkwardness adds to her edginess. She is high fashion all day. She's my pic to sweep this whole kit-n-caboodle. The judges love her, the girls are too busy being protective of her to stab her in the back. She's got it in hand.

That's my final two. I think all the other girls pale in comparison. Although Lisa had a shining moment in the Enrique Iglesias moment, she just doesn't do it for me. It's interesting though. Most cycles there's about 5-7 girls that I am like, huh? This season, the only girl I thought Tyra was smoking crack when she picked her was Victoria. That lazy eyed, sanctimonious bitch should have never gotten screen time. And when she went after Twiggy...girl must have a screw loose.

It should be fun to watch how this plays out. We'll see if the pattern follows as it has in all other seasons. the girl who is picked most for Cover Girl of the Week ends up winning. IN that case, my girl Heather has it in the bag :)

Toodles!